Sounds like a movie title, right?
It could be, but you be the judge after I share the back story.
Activity had been my life. I coached basketball, taught physical education, played softball and spent time outdoors whenever I could.
Then it all changed.
I was very sick, partially paralyzed in one leg and recovering at home after a month long hospitalization. Forced to retire from teaching, I began to walk again, and was bored at home. Months later, my wife, a physical therapist in a school system, came home one day with a life- changing question.
“Do you think you could take care of a three year old girl?”
“What?” I tried not to sound bewildered. I had raised a son; felt like I knew boy things. I was a tomboy myself. The thought of taking on the care of a young girl scared me. I didn’t like dolls, make-up or frilly things. This wasn’t something on my radar.
“Well, the special education teacher in our school says she might have to quit, because they can’t find anyone to care for their adopted daughter.” She gave me a pleading look, which I knew meant she was gonna push this. Since the illness, I was depressed; my life was drifting aimlessly and she was offering me a lifeline.
I had met the teacher and her husband at a school function before all this came about. They are good people. I hesitated, but, under pressure, said, “ I’ll give it a try. No promises.”
I was Rebecca’s caretaker/babysitter til she was in eighth grade. Ages 3 to 12. We spent every school day afternoon together. She was in a different school system than her mom so school vacation week was all about Rebecca and me together. Going to museums, art galleries, nature centers. We played every kids game that existed, made our own board game, plus choosing make-believe families with her stuffed animals.
My initial anxiety was unnecessary because she was curious, smart, and had a kind heart. Who else could have taught me to play Pretty, Pretty Princess, getting me to put on plastic rings, necklaces and tiaras? Who sought out the challenge questions at the local nature center display and loved teddy bears as much as me? We were a match made in heaven.
She grew up, graduated from high school, then college. We stay in touch.
Now she’s twenty-four and studying to be a physician’s assistant. Her parents are good friends and we consider each other to be family.
A few weeks ago, when she needed a break from the stress of relentless studies and was on a school break, she called and asked if she could come over with her parents and play some games with my wife and I. It’s different now that she’s an adult; but the laughs, the camaraderie and the connections remain strong. The generation gap makes for some funny answers to charades and guessing games.
A few days ago I received this text, after I sent her some material connected to my illness, hoping as a doctor’s assistant one day the information would help her. This was her response:
“While I’m sure there’s aspects of never wishing you had had this awful disease, I give thanks that it ultimately led us together to a beautiful relationship. Who else could I play games with? You’re a living reminder that somehow there was purpose, grace, and hope.”
I titled this piece the Fates because there is no way for me to rationalize the twists and turns that life hands us. All of us. And sometimes when it comes out of the blue—- unexpected and challenging what we know of ourselves, it sets us on a path that is full of love and light. I don’t know that I deserved this beautiful soul in my life but the Fates were kind. When I most needed it, I was given “purpose, grace and hope.”
Walks Across 